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Dear Citigroup,

In these turbulent times who doesn’t need additional capital to get through these cold winter months? Because of your strong record of providing banking services to me, I would like to offer you a special opportunity to raise capital and gain liquidity in one easy step. This offer is available only to you, and it is only available for a short time.

As you know, you are the proud owner of my mortgage. As a result you receive several thousand dollars a month from me. I am sure this helps your income statement! I am a great credit risk and this mortgage should be providing you with a great return. Sadly, I am guessing that you, like many banks in these hard times, have actually lost a lot of money on my mortgage. (Phooey on those mark-to-market rules.) We both know the troubling fact is that market values of mortgages have declined precipitously, and as you well know, my mortgage is a nonconforming mortgage. Even some AAA mortgage backed securities are trading at steep discounts, something like 50 cents on the dollar. This puts the market value of my mortgage at around half the outstanding balance.

But I am willing to buy my mortgage from you at above its market price! I am offering to buy that asset that is stuck on your books at about 50 cents on the dollar for 60 cents on the dollar. That’s right, you can sell an illiquid asset, gain hundreds of thousands of dollars in liquidity, and lower your risk of bankruptcy with one easy transaction.

In the future, you will of course not get my loan payments, but once you have sufficient capital, you can turn around and make a very similar mortgage loan at any point – rates are even currently very similar to my current rate.

So don’t sit around waiting for a government bailout! Make you and your stockholders happy. Call me now to take advantage of this exciting offer.

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